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Ways to Stay Empowered After a Break-Up
December 3, 2018
On Nov. 3, Ariana Grande released her song “Thank U, Next” as a response to her recent split with comedian Pete Davidson. The single came as a surprise to many of Grande’s fans considering the recent release of her album “Sweetner” in August. Grande dropped her newest single minutes before that night’s episode of “Saturday Night Live” was set to air, an act which is assumed to be a combative response to a joke Davidson made earlier that week about their failed engagement in a teaser for the upcoming SNL episode.
Grande’s music video for “Thank U, Next” aired on Friday, Nov. 30, an event which was highly anticipated by fans and teased greatly beforehand. The video included parodies of many of the most famous feminist romantic comedies from the last 20 years, including “Mean Girls,” “Bring It On,” “Legally Blonde,” and “13 Going On 30.” In light of both the song’s, and the subsequent video’s releases, the idea of female empowerment, especially in regards to break-ups and relationships, has been a topic of much discussion.
Tess Wadsworth (’20) says, “I loved the music video and the song. It made me feel so proud to be a woman, and it just reminded how empowering it can feel to be independent.”
When it comes to ending a relationship, the aftermath usually is not the most enjoyable experience; however, there are many ways to keep the independent, empowered mindset needed to move past that low period in life.
Make a playlist of songs that make you happy.
When you lose something like a romantic relationship, you want to make sure you are surrounding yourself with the most positive things in your life. Making a playlist filled with those songs that put you in a good mood helps to remind you of all the good in your life.
Like this one!
Fill your time with things that make you happy, like hanging out with friends.
Theresa Tulsiak (‘19) says, “Honestly, just drive down Bayshore blasting music with your friends. The more things you do, the less you dwell. It keep you from potentially going back to a toxic relationship.”
It’s easy to forget how fulfilling the other relationships in your life are when you have been in a relationship for so long, so it’s important to take that time for your friends.
“Take the time to reevaluate the other relationships in your life, like friendships and familial relationships. They’re just as important and the more you realize that, the less you dwell on the loss of that other relationship in your life,” said Katie Taulbee (‘19).
Stay strong in your decision.
Sophie Ragano (‘19) says, “Don’t respond when they text you, even though the temptation may be strong, you need to stay resilient. Trust that your instinct was right, obviously you made the right decision because something was wrong, stay grounded in that stance, if that person is meant to come to you they will.”
Remain confident in your own self worth.
Breaking up with someone may cause your own self esteem to take a hit. It can also be easy to get stuck in the idea that this person was the sole cause for your happiness, and that without them, you’ll be lost. When this happens, it is important to remember that you were a whole person before them, and you will continue to be a whole person after them.
Make time for yourself
Don’t get too caught up in everything that is going on around you. Though it can be helpful to throw yourself into other activities to get your mind off things, you have to remember to spare some time for yourself. By planning an activity to do by yourself, you remind yourself that you do not need to count on anybody else for your happiness. So pick up a movie ticket and be your own date to the movies for once!
Buy something you don’t need
No matter what anyone says, shopping really can be therapy.
“After a break up, sometimes it’s nice to go out and buy something fun that you know you don’t really need. It can help to remind you of how trivial things really are sometimes. This is just one moment in your life, so don’t stress too much about it!” says Elizabeth Fuchsen (‘21).
Spend time with your pets
If there’s ever a moment where you think you can never be happy again without the person you broke up with, go pick up your dog and look real hard at their little face, and rest assured, you will be proven wrong.
And finally, say, “Thank u, next!”
No man is worth crying over, and there will always be someone else out there for you, so keep your head up and make Ariana proud.