The month of February cultivates feelings of love, romance, and nostalgia for many with the holiday of Valentine’s Day. Many cinema fans find themselves reflecting on their favorite romance movies, and a common pastime of the month consists of Rom-Com marathons. However, many of these movies present love interests for the female leads that are painted as romantic and stable partners – but in reality they have several toxic traits and behaviors that should be exposed instead of romanticized. Instead of wishing for a boyfriend like these heartthrob characters, let’s discuss their questionable traits that one should avoid when actually looking for love in real life.
Nate – The Devil Wears Prada
The first boyfriend comes from the beloved fashion flick:The Devil Wears Prada. Although the film’s main focus is on Andrea’s journey as she goes from a “frumpy” college graduate trying to make it as a journalist to a chic assistant for the fashion industry’s most demanding editor, one of her main conflicts consists of relationship problems with her boyfriend Nate.
Despite Andrea finding passion and career-stepping stones through her job at Runway Magazine, Nate constantly belittled her interests in fashion and her development in her job. He never stood to be supportive of Andy’s career aspirations, even though she was constantly supporting his dreams of being a successful chef. Nate continues to be a toxic love interest on screen because of his lack of support, his belittling attitude towards Andy being interested in “superficial” fields like fashion, and because of his hesitation to accept her transformation- regardless of Andy making efforts to better herself towards the end of the film.
Peter Kavinsky – To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before
Surprisingly, Noah Centineo’s character in the To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before franchise is a well-liked character amongst the fans of the movie. The movie franchise covers the story of Lara Jean Covey, as her sister mails her old love letters to all the crushes she’s had throughout adolescence. The sequels follow her as she continues to navigate herself, her education, and her family life while trying to maintain a relationship with her first real boyfriend Peter.
Although the movies try to paint Peter as the dream guy for a high school relationship, he constantly displays signs he is not. In the first movie, Peter clearly shows that his acts of service towards Lara Jean are rooted in making his ex-girlfriend jealous, and he poorly stands up for her when a school scandal is exposed. In the second film, Peter continuously ignores boundaries for his ex-girlfriend, and then blames Lara Jean due to her “jealousy” and “insecurity”. Additionally, the second film reveals that Peter had kept a huge part of their relationship secret from Lara Jean, unveiling his dishonest and manipulative tendencies. The last film of the franchise unveils a particularly frustrating aspect of Peter, as he causes much conflict in their relationship because Lara Jean had decided to go to college far away from him. These actions and decisions support the idea that Peter was toxic in more ways than one to Lara Jean, and he should not get the support he often does from viewers.
Rowan Alexander (‘25) includes, “Peter Kavinsky has an unhealthy attachment to his ex-girlfriend, making him an unreliable boyfriend. Despite his good looks, I couldn’t trust him.”
Steve Edison – The Wedding Planner
While the 2001 romantic-comedy is less popular amongst teenage girls today, the film paints itself as a love story, but in reality it showcases strong themes of manipulation, miscommunication, and infidelity. The movie follows Jennifer Lopez’s character, Mary Fiore, as she works in the wedding coordinating industry and finds herself falling for one of her grooms. Although this movie consists of several fan-favorite tropes like “boy saving girl” and a compelling dance scene, Steve’s toxicity is undeniable.
His first mistake was allowing Mary to go out with him on a movie night and never telling her he was engaged – huge red flag. After Mary is revealed as his wedding planner, Steve never communicates with his fiancée that he has met and had a connection with Mary. Majority of the film depicts Steve emotionally cheating on Mary, just to string on his fiancée until their wedding day, when he then leaves her at the altar. This film encapsulates how toxic love interests can manipulate their significant other into thinking they are being faithful while simultaneously manipulating the other woman into thinking they are unhappy and going to leave. Steve’s character embodies several toxic traits and can communicate to viewers to never put up with someone who is emotionally involved with someone else, despite their justification or excuses.
Aaron Samuels – Mean Girls
This fan-favorite teen comedy focuses on how Cady Heron gets herself involved with the mean clique at school and unveils this common idea of how mischievous and excluding high school can be for young girls. Although the clear perpetrators of conflict were “the plastics”, the film does not place any blame on the male love interest’s character, Aaron Samuels. While it can be argued that Aaron was just as much manipulated as other characters like Cady and Damien, he was not innocent either.
Aaron was hypocritical towards Cady, placing blame on hanging out with Regina and emulating some of her unfavorable traits when he himself dated her and constantly excused her out-of-touch behavior. A common theme throughout these rom-coms is seen through emotional cheating and miscommunication, in which Aaron falls under this umbrella. He displayed signs of being into Cady despite being with Regina, toying with her vulnerable feelings of adjusting at a new school. It is clear that everyone in this film is beyond flawed, but Aaron’s flaws should equally be recognized when evaluating the characters.
Layla Evans (‘26) includes, “I believe that Aaron himself isn’t toxic, but he surrounds himself with toxic people. He would need to work on himself before getting in a relationship.”
Austin Ames – A Cinderella Story
The Cinderella trope is a tale as old as time, but the 2003 edition of A Cinderella Story is perhaps one of the most toxic of them all. Although Chad Michael Murray’s charismatic persona incredibly boosted the likeability of his character, Austin’s actions tanked his overall rating. Chad Michael Murray’s portrayal of Prince Charming in this story was incredibly toxic and manipulative. Throughout this story he once again, emotionally cheated on his girlfriend with the female lead, played by Hillary Duff.
He also constantly belittled his girlfriend (despite her inherent mean girl personality) and failed to recognize Hillary Duff’s character, Sam, at the dance, even though they were long-time classmates and he ate at her family restaurant frequently. The most toxic component of his character arc occurred towards the end of the movie when he allowed the whole school to make a mockery of Sam and never intervened. When she confronted him about their conflict and her feelings, he left her with no apology nor a response. At the close of the movie when he realizes he wants to be with Sam, he blames his poor actions on “waiting until the rain”. Ames’ character truly portrays how many pretty faces get their poor actions excused, glossing over their toxicity and mistakes made with no development.
These love interests do not just provide entertainment to viewers, but oftentimes are looked at as role models for how a relationship should be. Therefore, it is important to stop romanticizing toxic behaviors and miscommunication, as this will cultivate poor treatment and conflicting feelings in viewers’ personal lives. It is important that as young women, there are high standards set for romantic relationships, so one is treated respectfully and considerately.
