Golden Globes: An Academy girl’s play by play


8:00- And the Golden Globes begin!

8:01- Tina and Amy begin with the first wardrobe change of the evening.

8:11- Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle) wins best supporting actress in a drama film. The J Law supremacy continues!

8:14- Jacqueline Bisset (Dancing on the Edge) wins best supporting actresses in a series, miniseries, or TV movie. She was sitting so far away from the stage it took her about two minutes to reach the stage. She gives one of the weirdest speeches ever and it doesn’t stop until about two minutes after the stop talking music starts playing.

8:22- Behind the Candelabra wins best TV miniseries. It takes them over a minute to reach the stage. What’s up with the seating arrangements tonight?

8:25- Best Actress in a television movie or miniseries goes to Elizabeth Moss (Atop of the Lake) wins. Don’t know who she is, but her dress is super sparkly.

8:28- Matt Damon, the garbage man, introduces Captain Philips.

8:35- Jonah Hill and Margot Robbie from The Wolf of Wall Street introduce The Wolf of Wall Street. The teleprompter messes up, how awkward.

8:37- Aaron Eckhart and Paula Patton, who is wearing by far the strangest dress of the evening, present best actor in a TV series to Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad). All is right with the world. Once again it takes him forever to get to the stage.

8:42- YES! Breaking Bad wins best TV series drama. Its well-deserved victory sweep continues.

8:49- Kate Beckinsale, Sean (“Diddy”) Combs, and Usher present best original score to Alex Ebert (All is Lost). He has apparently partied on Diddy’s boat.

8:53- Best original song goes to “Ordinary Love” from Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom.

9:02- Best supporting actor in a series, miniseries, or TV movie goes to John Voight (Ray Donavon). Aaron Paul (Breaking Bad) was robbed!

9:05 Olivia Wild introduces Her (The movie where Joaquin Phoenix falls in love with his computer.)

9:06 Robert Downey Jr. presents best actress in a motion picture- drama to Amy Adams (American Hustle). Her dress is so pretty!

9:15 Oh my god! Tina Fey’s adult son Randy!

9:17 Robin Wright (House of Cards) wins best actress in a TV drama.

9:20- Christoph Waltz presents best supporting Actor in a motion picture to Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club). Leto is sporting a male ombre in case you couldn’t tell from his massive man bun.

9:27- Best screen play goes to Spike Jones for Her.

9:33 Julie Bowen and Seth Meyers present best Actor TV series comedy Andy Samberg (Brooklyn Nine-Nine). This is by far Most unexpected win of the evening so far.

9:40- Best foreign language film to The Great Beauty from Italy.

9:43 Jimmy Fallon and Melissa McCarthy, doing a Matt Damonimpression, present Best actor in a TV miniseries to Michael Douglas (Behind the Candelabra). What’s up with making fun of Matt Damon tonight.

9:52- Best animated film goes to Frozen. Yay!!

9:56- Amy Poehler (Parks and Recreation) wins best Actress in a TV series- comedy. She made yet another wardrobe change.

10:02- Woody Allen wins the Cecil B. DeMille award, which I’m assuming is a life time achievement award. He apparently didn’t show up, so Diane Keaton accepts on his behalf.

10:11- Diane Keaton finishes accepting the award.

10:16- Best director goes to Alfonso Cuaron (Gravity).

10:20- Best TV series-comedy goes to Brooklyn Nine-Nine. This is both very impressive and unexpected.

10:26- Leonardo DiCaprio wins best actor in a film-drama. This is the first time he hasn’t been snubbed for an award about ten years.

10:37- Drew Barrymore presents best picture musical or comedy to American Hustle (duh).

10:44 Leonardo presents best actress in a motion picture drama to Kate Blanchette (Blue Jasmine).

10:48 Jessica Chastain presents Best actor in a motion picture-drama to Mathew McCounehy (Dallas Buyers Club. He’s come so far from doing terrible RomComs.

10:56 Johnny Depp, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else, presents best motion picture drama to 12 Years A Slave.

10:59 The Globes are over!